I’ve missed you all dearly. First let me apologize for my absence during the start of this new year! During these first two months of 2019, I have had such an overwhelming experience. I started the year with such a high off of knowing that a clean slate was beginning. I anticipated a brand new chapter for myself, full of change, creativity, love, opportunities and accomplishments. Although there is nothing wrong with setting your self up for greatness, it is still a “set up.” Let me explain. I put so much pressure on myself to make 2019 the “best year EVER.” I was amongst you all, jotting down my new years resolutions, creating my version of vision boards and making sure every day counted for something great. It is the ending of the 2nd month of 2019 and I can humbly sit here and express that I have already failed.
But see, I failed before I even began. I failed to give myself room to fail. I allowed my brain to dream big and left my heart alone to suffocate. Suffocate in sadness, in anxiety and in insecurities. Once January hit, I found myself running. My feet were picking up a pace that I hadn’t seen in a long while. I was crushing my goals at an impressive speed and adding onto my plate continuously because I wanted to feel badass! I was on fire! As the weeks went by, I saw myself slowing down. I felt unsatisfied. I felt like I was in a race with myself. I was checking off things off of my to-do list, but I was neglecting to feed my soul. My relationship with myself turned strictly professional and I was beginning to lose the personal connection. I knew something had to change.
Once I felt that small void opening up, I realized it was time to change my approach. Do not get me wrong. I am still ambitious to reach my goals this year and to build the foundation I want in order to secure my future, however I cannot do that unless my mind, body and soul are on the same page. (Or same group chat for all of my millennials out here.) I have now shifted my plan. I choose to run each day with ease. I didn’t make it to the gym this week? That is okay! I wanted to sleep in today and disconnect from the world! Thats great too! I disappointed someone I love with my behavior? Guess what? You’ll live and so will they! And better yet, you will learn from it! My point here is, let’s stop being so hard on ourselves for not following the path you set out for yourself. I will let you in on a little secret, your path is a rough draft, God’s path is the final blueprint. We can only pray that we are surrounded with loving and understanding people in our lives that will uplift us and inspire us.
Take it all day by day, work on your goals but don’t forget about your mental health, keep your brain sane and..
Stay Strong friends, because Life Croes On..